What not to do on a first date (Part 1: Location)

Firsts dates are already tough enough as it is. Most people put so much time and effort into trying to impress the other person. What you need to keep in mind is the other person is most likely suffering from the same symptoms. This is a recipe for disaster. So instead of the typical article about how to put your best foot forward or ways to seem interesting or impressive I'm gonna approach this from the more important angle. I'm going to help you to not screw up. If you can manage that you can start getting creative on date number two.

Just know that because I'm the guy and because I've been on about twenty five first dates a year for the past two or three years I'm gonna be writing this from the "guys" perspectives. However realise that a lot of this information will also include the "woman's" probable perspective as part of consideration and also feel free to disregard the gender specificness of my wording for same gender usage. That being said... let's begin.

People make a big deal about how important it is to pick the right location and scenery. The natural inclination is to find someplace really nice because you want to come across as debonair or classy or something equally retarded. So you end up picking someplace that's probably more expensive than you'd usually go if left to your own devices. Such places are usually set apart from the rest of the world. Such places usually imply a swankier dress code than your typical casual wear. This approach leads to a lot of problems.

Really at this point she's not meeting you, she's meeting your representative. The nicer the place the more uptight you and your date will feel you have to be. That means less interesting and open conversations. The atmosphere can choke the dialog and make her feel uncomfortable. If she doesn't then she might even show up with a sense of entitlement to that type of scene in which case you've just walked yourself into a materialistic bear trap by setting a false standard.

You'll spend half the night doing math in your head to see how much it's going to set you back. this will increase your tension and that will show. It's also possible she might be stressed out about how much things cost since if she has any heart what so ever she'll feel awkward that you're spending $20 on her appetizer. Then if you end up someplace that does multiple courses you get trapped in one place for an hour and a half minimum. This seems like a good thing... if you assume things are going well. It's not though. If you decide your done in the first five minutes... that's a long time to spend with someone you don't want to talk to. Even if things are going well you don't want to be stuck in one spot that long. I'll get into that later though.

Now... some people will vote you away from going out to eat all together saying that it's cliched and boring and sets a bad first impression. I have to disagree. Trying to get fancy with mini-golf and hikes and dancing before you know someone can walk you right into doom. If she dislikes walking or is self conscious about dancing or has bad memories playing mini-golf it can lead to trouble. And don't even bother with concerts or sporting events. You won't be able to hear a word they say and really for an event like that you should be enjoying the moment. Food is good. everyone eats and It's very uncomplicated if done right.

So speaking of doing it right. You're gonna want to pick someplace casual. A cafe or diner are good choices. They have lots of simple options. They're usually nearby other things and places. You want to keep hopping from place to place. If you start and end your date with diner she just has one long memory of you in that place. Even if the night goes well you're giving yourself a slow start. Grab a light bite, go for a walk, stop and get ice cream, wander some more, stop and get a drink, wrap things up. Should be as short as 90 minutes if done right. Then she has a lot of displaced memories of you which gives the impression you've spent more time together than you have. Just make sure the walking distances aren't too far apart because shoes can sometimes be a problem and no one likes being dragged around the city in uncomfortable shoes.

As for choosing a location... don't get too worked up about it. Picking someplace complicated will invariably complicate things. Women aren't usually as impressed with restaurants as guys like to think and food always tastes good on a good first date. The important thing it pick someplace you like. It'll keep you comfortable and that will make her comfortable.

Do not...

• ... go high end for the sake of going high end.
• ... do anything that will trap you for a long period of time.
• ... get too creative too soon.
• ... stay in one place the whole time.
• ... make the walking so intense that nice shoes will turn it into a bad time.
• ... choose places you aren't familiar with.

Keep all this in mind and always remember that first impressions are less about impressing than you would think.

Part 2: Conversation